


closest to heaven (~that i'll ever be~)

by space_cad3t (the_adequate_pretender)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Daddy Kink, Dom Steve Rogers, Dom/sub Undertones, Everybody is human, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, No Spoilers, Romance, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, scarlet america - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:02:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6838306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_adequate_pretender/pseuds/space_cad3t
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is a former marine struggling to adjust back to civilian life after returning from his last active tour.</p><p>Wanda Maximoff is a Sokovian art student looking pull her life back together in America after the death of her twin brother.</p><p>And somehow, they're going to fix each other.</p><p>
  <em><br/>Tags to be added as we go.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

...............................

‘Can I get you anything?’ Comes a voice from beside Wanda, she doesn’t acknowledge it the first time, but when she feels a tap on her shoulder she finally looks up. It’s a flight attendant. The woman -middle aged with a kind smile- looks down upon Wanda with concern in her eyes.

‘I’m sorry?’ Wanda hears herself say, stopping herself from speaking in her mother tongue—something she would have to get used to if she was going to live in America.

‘I said, can I get you anything?’ the woman gladly repeats.

‘Oh,’ The brunette nods. ‘No...thank you.’

A frown appears on the woman’s face. ‘Are you sure? I just could help but notice you don’t  look so well.’

‘It is my first time flying. I will be okay, thank you.’ Wanda nods, her gaze returning to the back of the headrest of the seat in front of her. Hopefully the woman would get the hint and walk away. She does. After a few moments the flight attendant moves down the aisle without another word. Wanda sinks in her seat, as much as she can with her seat belt on.

It’s not actually her first time flying. When she was young her uncle took her flying in a little Cessna out around the country side. She’s not afraid of flying. She’s afraid of what this flight means. When the plane finally takes off it will mean the beginning of a new chapter in her life.

The beginning of her life in America.

The beginning of a fresh start.

The beginning of a life without her brother, her twin, her other half... _Pietro._

She would give anything to have him sitting with her on this flight, to be starting this journey together instead of him laying in a cherry oak box surrounded by cold, unforgiving earth a few miles from their childhood home.

The thought makes her throat tighten and tears blur her vision as she attempts to focus on the headrest in front of her.

“ _Wanda, I know it’s hard. But you have to keep living._ ” The voice of her cousin Natasha rings through her head. “ _Come stay with me, it can’t be healthy for you to stay in that house all by yourself. Please._ ”

It took months of convincing before Natasha finally got Wanda to leave the property to her uncle and make the decision to hop on a plane and live with her. She wasn’t going to go, but what really forces her hand is when her mind starts playing tricks on her when she’s alone. She thinks she can _see_ Pietro walking about the house. Sometimes he smiles at her and she thinks she hears him speaking to her, telling her everything will be alright and when she goes to speak back he disappears. And that’s when she knows she has to leave—because she can’t take the loneliness anymore.

The pilot announces take off and Wanda grips the armrests of her seat. As the plane rolls along the runway and slowly begins to ascend into the air, Wanda feels the invisible vines grounding her to Sokovia slowly snap, one by one—and she can only hope she’s making the right decision. 

...........................................................

Steve relishes in the burn that’s settles into his lungs as he continues to run full speed on the inclined treadmill. He can feel that he’s pushing himself too hard and he has already reached his pre-set goal of five miles for that day but he can’t bring himself to stop.

He had a panic attack this morning. And it’s not unusual, he gets them more than he likes to admit—to himself or anybody else—but this one happened as soon as he woke up. He had another dream, about Venezuela and Bucky and his whole squad. It’s a horrible feeling to wake up, clutching your chest and willing yourself to breath when images of explosions are all you can see and your ears are ringing. He’s just glad no one was around to see it.

He was eventually able to calm himself down after fifteen minutes or so, that’s when he forced himself onto the treadmill to clear his head. That was forty or so minutes ago, and he knows he really should get off the machine now because his mouth is drier than all hell and his tongue feels like sandpaper. He punches a button on the treadmill and the incline adjusts and the speed slows until he’s walking on it. With a final huff he hops off.

In the kitchen, he downs close to three glasses of water before he shuts the tap off and wipes his mouth on the back of his wrist. He leans his weight on the edge of his sink and dumps the rest of his glass down the drain.

He’s on his way to the shower when his cell phone rings and it’s Natasha trying to video chat with him.  He picks up on the second to last ring and smiles when his friends face appears on the screen.

‘Morning Rogers.’ Natasha smiles.

‘Morning Romanov, what’s up?’ He chuckles. Her eyes scan his face and notice how his hair sticks to his forehead and the little beads of sweat still forming at his temples.

‘Early workout?’ She asks.

Steve shrugs. ‘Five miles.’

She nods. ‘Everything okay?’

Steve pauses for a moment before he nods. ‘I had a small incident this morning but everything is okay now.’

Natasha gives him a look that tells him she doesn’t totally believe him but she let’s it go anyway. ‘How do you feel about coming with me to the airport? 

‘Who’s flying in?’ Steve questions, and continues his way to the bathroom.

‘My cousin, Wanda. She’s staying with me for a while.’

‘The one from Sokovia?’ He replies, setting his cell phone against his toothbrush holder and pulling his shirt over his head, tossing it in the hamper before turning to rest his hands on the sink.

‘Yeah, she going through a rough time right now, I think I told you what happened to her twin?’

Steve frowns as he recalls Natasha telling him about Pietro Maximoff’s death at the hands of a Sokovian street gang. ‘I remember. That’s gotta be rough on her—guy being her twin and all.’

‘They’ve only had each other since their parents died a few years back.’ Natasha says. ‘So, you wanna come?’

‘Sure. I got nothing going on today. I’ll pick you up in half an hour.’

..............................................................................

 Wanda actually feels sick as she navigates through the international airport in New York. It’s miles bigger than the one in Sokovia and it’s bustling with people.  It makes her so anxious as she comes to a stop practically in the middle of the chaos and closes her eyes, willing herself her thought to organize themselves so that she can just find her cousin and get the hell out of this place. When she opens them she comes face to face with a tall, muscular blond man who was making his way toward her.

‘Excuse me,’ He begins.

‘I know I am in the way. Sorry.’ She responds and goes to move both her and her suitcase out of the man’s path. He grabs her arm gently and the move startles Wanda a little so she flinches. The man immediately looks apologetic.

‘You’re Wanda Maximoff aren’t you?’ He asks.

‘Yes,’ She replies and gives him a curious look.

‘Wanda, there you are!’ Natasha’s  voice is heard from behind her. The brunette turns to find her cousin striding toward her. ‘I’m was looking for you everywhere.’

Wanda drops her suitcase for a moment before wrapping her arms around Natasha and giving her a tight hug. ‘I got lost.’

‘How was the flight?’

Wanda shrugs. ‘It was fine.’

Natasha gives her a sympathetic smile before turning her attention to the man standing quietly behind her. ‘This is my good friend, Steve Rogers.’

He holds out his hand for Wanda to shake. ‘Miss,.’ He smiles as she shakes his hand. His grip is firm but soft.

‘Well that explains how you knew who I was.’ She tries to joke.

‘Yeah I thought we might find you quicker if we split up. It kind of worked.’ Natasha smirks. ‘Anyway, let’s get you out of here.’

....................................................

They pull up in front of Natasha’s place after stopping for a quick dinner at a diner close by. After all the travelling Wanda has done over the past day or so, she’s really just ready to just let her head hit the pillow and sleep.

Steve offers to grab her luggage from the back while Natasha shows her around the house.

‘Thank you.’ She says.

‘Don’t worry about it.’ He winks and gives her a polite smile.

Natasha leads her into an empty room down the hall, the only furniture inside being a bed and one chest of drawers.

‘Decorate however you want to.’ Natasha says. ‘This is your space.’

‘Natasha, I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me--,’

‘Don’t thank me, we’re family.’ Her cousin comes forward and squeezes her shoulder sympathetically.  ‘I’ll give you some time to yourself.’

When Natasha closes the door behind her Wanda practically breaks down. Tears flow freely from her eyes as she realizes that all of this actually happened—she had really left, Sokovia, her brother and her old life behind.

Her breakdown is cut short when she hears a knock on the door. She quickly wipes her eyes and yells at whoever is on the other side to come in.

It’s Steve with her luggage.

He catches a glimpse of her red and puffy eyes along with her tear stained cheeks and clears his throat. ‘Where should I leave these?’

‘Anywhere is fine.’ Wanda says. Steve nods and loads her things into the corner. Just as he’s about to leave, he turns to her.

‘Hey Wanda?’

‘Yes?’

‘I know that everything must be so overwhelming for you right now and you may think it’s impossible but I think you’re going to really like it here.  Natasha is great.’ He says.

She gives him a small smile. ‘Yes I’m looking forward to spending time with my cousin.’

‘And I look forward to getting to know you. I’ve heard great things.’ He smiles and gently pats her knee.

His eyes twinkle, Wanda wonders if he knows they do this—wonders if this twinkle is in the eyes of all American men or if it’s just unique to Steve. 

‘I look forward to getting to know you too.’ Wanda replies.

‘Welcome to America.’ It’s the final thing he says before slipping out her bedroom door.


	2. Chapter 2

Wanda doesn’t do much during her first week in New York. She in her bedroom more often than not, usually sleeping or watching television…staring out her window and watching people walk by has become her new pastime. It ends up worrying Natasha; as much as she wants to give her cousin time to adjust she knows it isn’t healthy to spend all that time alone in your room.

And Wanda feels guilty, of course, for making Natasha feel that way. It’s not her intention—she’s just overwhelmed. She hasn’t been dealing with the move so well. There are times at night, when the apartment is silent and the television isn’t doing a good job of distracting her well enough that she thinks about hopping back on the plane and going home to Sokovia.

A soft knock at her bedroom door steals her attention away from the window, where she’s spent the last five minutes watching a child attempt to catch a butterfly in the park across the street. It makes her smile but deep down she was a little envious that she can’t be that carefree anymore, without a worry in the world.

‘Come in,’ she says.

‘Hey,’ Natasha pokes her head in, a soft smile on her face. ‘You’re up.’

Wanda shrugs. She’s been a little jetlagged for the past few days and usually sleeps until one in the afternoon because she stays up most of the night. ‘Finally getting used to the time zone difference.’

‘So what are you up to today?’ Natasha asks and takes a few more tentative steps into the bedroom. Wanda observes her sneaking a few glances around the room, noticing how nothing is unpacked and if it wasn’t for the fact that Wanda didn’t make her bed yet, you would think anybody was actually inhabiting the room.

‘Not sure, I’m still thinking.’ Wanda lies. She was really just planning on doing what she has been for the last week, but she can see the concern all over Natasha’s face.  

‘I understand,’ Natasha nods sympathetically. ‘Listen, my vacation period is up and I have to go back to work tomorrow, I was wondering if you wanted to maybe…grab lunch with Steve and I today? We could probably go to the mall afterwards?’ She attempts to suggest it causally but Wanda can see how much she wants for her to say yes.

‘Sure,’ Wanda nods. ‘But I do not know about the mall, I don’t have much money right now-,’

Natasha smiles at her. ‘That’s fine! You don’t have to pay for anything. It’s my treat.’

‘Natasha…’Wanda sighs. She already feels like a burden these days. Natasha pays for nearly everything since she got here.

Natasha shakes her head. ‘Wanda, it’s okay. I’m well paid, please don’t worry about it.’

Wanda still doesn’t feel right about it but she knows Natasha will not allow her to reject her offer. ‘Alright, fine.’ She gives in.

‘Great! So, I’ll give you some time to get ready and we’ll leave in about an hour, okay?’

Wanda nods as Natasha closes the door behind her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

‘I know you’re worried about her but I really think you just need to give her some time.’ Steve says quietly as he and Natasha sit at her kitchen table waiting for Wanda to finish getting ready so they can head out for lunch.

‘I just feel helpless; you know? Like I can’t do anything about it and I wish I could.’ She admits, glancing down the hall to see if Wanda has come out of the bathroom or not.

Steve nods. ‘I know, but she’s got to get there herself, Nat. I’m sure just being there for her is doing wonders.’ He reaches forward and gives her arm a gentle squeeze. ‘I know just having you and Sam by my side is what keeps me going everyday.’

Natasha smiles, softly. ‘You been by to see Bucky?’

He sighs and leans back in the chair. ‘Me and Sam go every Wednesday and Saturday.’

‘Any progress?’

‘He ain’t getting any worse,’ Steve shrugs. Steve, Sam and Bucky had all returned from Venezuela pretty damaged. For Steve and Sam, their trauma manifested itself emotionally and mentally in the form of nightmares and panic attacks and anger. They were dealing with it, one way or another. Bucky wasn’t doing so well, he started abusing his medications among other substances and had been in and out of rehab centers for the past year. ‘Small steps everyday.’

Wanda appears in the kitchen, running her fingers through her hair.

‘Good afternoon, Wanda.’ Steve greets her. ‘How have you been?’

She gives him a polite smile. ‘Good, thank you. How are you?’

‘I can’t complain. Ready for lunch?’ He grins.

 ‘Ready.’

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

They take her to this restaurant in Brooklyn, apparently Steve’s been going there his whole life and they apparently have the best lasagna for miles. Wanda doesn’t eat much of it; she actually really enjoys the food but she’s not used to the portion sizes in this country, everything is bigger here. She’s fascinated by how easily Steve can finish his food, though he is a big man so she assumes he has the appetite to match.

‘Did you like it?’ He asks, nudging his plate aside. His arms stretch upward and his hands come to rest behind his head. Wanda is generally amazed by the size of his arms and the way his muscles bulge out from beneath the short sleeves of his t-shirt. Actually the t-shirt he’s wearing, USMC it says in bold black letters, is so fitted she can see the outline of his sculpted chest easily through the thin material. He’d stick out like a sore thumb in Sokovia, with his blonde hair, blue eyes and extremely healthy and almost superhuman physique.

‘Wanda?’ Natasha calls out from beside her. She shakes her head a little and nods.

‘Yes, I did. Thank you.’ She answers to Steve.

‘So, Nat was telling me that you went to university in Sokovia. What did you study?’ Steve asks.

She clears her throat. ‘Art. I was going into my third year.’

‘Didn’t you say something about having an internship at a gallery one summer?’ Natasha chimes in.

‘Yes, I did. It was really nice actually.’

Steve leans forward on his elbows. ‘What do you like to do? Do like painting or sculpting or…?’

‘I paint, mostly. I’ve sculpted before and I’m not very good. But I draw often.’ Wanda answers.

‘Really?’ Steve smiles. ‘Me too—I mean it’s not good enough to go to a fancy art school or anything. It’s mostly just sketches and stuff like that.’

‘Well, you guys are going to have to compare notes sometime.’ Natasha jokes.

Steve winks playfully at Wanda from across the table and she isn’t sure why she likes it so much when he does it. Plenty of other men have done that to her before, it’s usually a sad attempt at being charming and often comes off as cheesy. But when Steve does it, it’s not like he’s trying to be charming, he _is_ charming.

‘You guys just give me a second, my boss has called me twice and I didn’t even notice.’ Natasha says, looking at her phone before she excuses herself from the table, leaving just Steve and Wanda sitting across from one another.

‘You been settling in okay?’ Steve questions.

She bites her lip, letting out a heavy sigh through her nose. ‘It’s been difficult. I find things to be a little overwhelming at times.’

‘I understand.’ He says.

Wanda looks at him, and she’s a little skeptical of his reply. ‘You do?’

‘Yeah,’ Steve nods. ‘It wasn’t easy for me when I came back.’

‘Came back from where?’ She questions. Steve rubs the back of his neck and Wanda can’t help but notice the tired look he gets in his eyes when he answers her.

‘War.’

‘You were a soldier?’

He pats the logo on his chest. ‘United States Marine Corps.’

‘Wow,’ Wanda whispers.

‘Yeah…’ Steve nods. ‘Hey, you know we got a ton of art galleries around here. I could take you to a few some day. I think you’ll like them. I’m pretty sure we got some work here that they don’t have in Sokovia.’ He smiles. ‘That’s only if you want to go?’

‘I’d love to.’ Wanda says. Art, now that’s something she can handle. She feels like it’s all she has now.

The next week, Wanda does better. She actually eats with Natasha now and stayed out of her room long enough to watch a couple of movies with her on the weekend. She can tell that her cousin is relieved about Wanda finally starting to adapt to her new surroundings. Wanda actually looks forward to the times when Steve comes over. The man just seems to have this vibe about him, it makes you feel safe and welcome. Though she can tell he’s got something going on in his life as well, because sometimes when he comes over he looks upset and Wanda’s caught him a few times just sitting in his car parked outside and when he comes in it’s easy to tell that he’s just finished crying. But, he’s always smiley around Wanda, and she can’t tell if it’s just a front or if she genuinely makes him smile like that. Inside she hopes it’s the latter.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

‘Buck?’ Steve calls out gently as he and Sam enter Bucky’s room at the rehab facility where he was currently staying. The lights are off and the curtains are shut but neither one reaches for a light switch. He’s lying on his bed, facing away from them. Steve doesn’t know if he’s sleeping when he approaches the bed but when he sees Bucky tense up, he knows his best friend is awake.

Sam stays waiting by the door with one of the facilities counsellors. Steve reaches out to touch Bucky, hoping to convey some sort of comfort to him but before he can even reach him, the man shifts further away.

‘Get out of here.’ Bucky grumbles.

‘Bucky…please?’ Steve pleads. He reaches for him again, this time actually managing to lay a hand on him before Bucky swats him away.

‘Leave me alone, Steve.’

‘It’s been a hard day for him.’ The counsellor says from beside Sam. She offers him a sympathetic look.

Steve stares down at his friend, the former wisecracking, troublemaking kid he grew up with in Brooklyn that always had a smile on his face, lying before him as a shell of the guy he once was. ‘Buck…’ He tries again, his voice just barely above a whisper. ‘We’ll be back next Wednesday, okay?’

He doesn’t get an answer.

Steve feels Sam’s hand on his shoulder, tugging him away and out of the room.

‘James has been clean for almost a month now, we just have to work on keeping him that way.’ The counsellor said.

‘Thanks.’ Steve nods.

The counsellor walks away and Sam turns to Steve. ‘Hey man, today’s been rough and yeah, Bucky’s got mountains to climb but he’ll get there, okay?’

‘Yeah,’

‘I don’t know about you but, I could use a drink, maybe two…you up for it?’

He spares one last glance at Bucky’s room. ‘Yeah, sure.’

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

When Natasha has, Steve, Sam and her co-worker Clint over for drinks and a game of poker, Wanda stays in her room. Well, she goes out every now and again to make polite conversation with them—it wasn’t like she was devoid of manners or something—card games just aren’t her thing and she’s not up for just sitting there and watching. Instead she starts painting, and because she has no canvas she uses her blank walls. She doesn’t really know if this is what Natasha meant by decorating the room how she wanted but she rationalizes that if her cousin is that bothered by it then Wanda will cover it up with white paint another day.

Much later in the night, Steve appears in her doorway. His cheeks are a little flushed and he’s holding a half empty beer bottle by it’s neck. He’s not drunk, she can tell, maybe a little tipsy—she’s not sure.

‘Wow, is that what you’ve been doing in here?’ He praises and comes forward to get a better look at what Wanda’s been designing on the wall. ‘That’s beautiful.’

She smiles and sets the paintbrush aside before standing from her crouched position and turning to him. ‘Thank you. It’s not finished and I think I might paint over it later but…’ She shrugs.

‘You’re talented, Wanda.’ Steve says. ‘I don’t know much about good art or bad art but I think it’s safe to say that’s the good kind.’

‘You know; I don’t think there really is good or bad art. It’s perspective and so what you think of it is up to you.’

‘Oh yeah? Well you know what I think?’ He smirks.

‘What?’

‘I think I should get you to paint something for my bedroom wall. It’s big, and white and boring…frankly, I’m tired of looking at it so if you want, you’ve got my full permission to do with it what you please.’ Steve offers. ‘It’ll be like a big canvas; hell I’ll even pay you for your time.’

Wanda is surprised for a moment but delighted at his offer. She doesn’t even think about the money aspect, she’s just happy that someone thinks she’s that good to want to have her work displayed anywhere. ‘You would not have to pay me; I would do it for free.’ She says but Steve waves her off.

‘Ain’t artists _supposed_ to get paid for their work?’

‘Well yes but-,’

‘So then I’ll pay you.’ His eyes are twinkling at her again, and sometimes she wonders if this man really has stars in his eyes.

‘Okay,’ she says quietly, a smile creeping onto her face. After a moment she realizes that they’ve been staring at each other for just a tad bit too long and clears her throat. ‘You should probably get back to your card game.’

‘Yeah, it’s not much of a card game anymore. Clint got to yakking about how the Yankees are better than the Mets and now he and Sam are in a pretty serious debate about it.’ He chuckles.

‘Yankees and Mets?’ Wanda repeats, her face giving away how confused she was.

‘It’s baseball.’ Steve explains with an amused look on his face.

‘Oh,’ she nods.

‘Do you want to come out with us? Or do you want me to bring you a beer or something while you finish painting?’ He offers.

‘A beer?’

‘Yeah like…’ He goes to hold up his drink, probably to explain to her what a beer is, and he’s probably wondering just how behind with the times Sokovia is that they don’t have beer, when she stops him.

‘I know what a beer is, I’ve just never had one.’ She says. The drinking age in Sokovia was seventeen but Wanda’s never really seen all the hype about drinking anyway.

‘Really? Do you want to try?’

She shrugs. ‘Isn’t the legal drinking age in America twenty-one?’

‘Yes,’

‘Then I cannot. It will be close to nine months before I turn twenty-one.’ Wanda explains.

‘Would you believe me if I said that practically nobody your age in this country follows that rule?’ He laughs and holds the bottle up. ‘You can have a sip of mine if you want?’ Steve leans in closer until his lips brush against Wanda’s ear. ‘I promise not to tell.’

She can smell the faint scent of alcohol on his breath but she doesn’t recoil. It’s almost enticing because she can also feel his warm breath against her cheek and it sends a tingling sensation through her body.

‘Okay,’ she replies.

He lifts the bottle to her lips and she tips her head back slightly. ‘Open your mouth.’ He tells her and she complies, parting pale pink lips as Steve nestles the bottle opening between them. He tips it until she feels the cool bitter liquid fill her mouth. She swallows it, never once taking her eyes of Steve, whose own eyes were glued to her lips and follow her tongue as she licks any remaining liquid from them.

‘Good?’ He asks, a faint roughness in his voice.

Wanda just nods.

‘Well, uh…I should get back.’ He says.

‘Me too—to this I mean.’ She gestures behind her.

‘We’ll talk about the painting for my wall, okay?’

‘Yes, of course.’

‘Goodnight Wanda.’

‘Goodnight Steve.’

………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	3. Chapter 3

‘Away?’ A frown forms on Wanda’s face when her cousin tells her that she’s being called out of town for a homicide case that’s gotten out of control. ‘For how long, do you think?’

Natasha shakes her head as she folds one of her blouses and places it neatly into her suitcase. ‘I never know with these things. Could be a week...maybe a two?’

‘This is job for local authorities, yes?’ She asks.

‘Yes, but this case is one of many that have been linked to that area. They believe it’s connected to a serial killer and now it’s FBI jurisdiction.’ Natasha explains before tucking one last item into her suitcase and zipping it shut. ‘But I’m not leaving you alone. Steve said he doesn’t mind popping by to check in on you until I come back.’ Natasha assures her.

‘Oh?’ Wanda’s ears perk up and a blush creeps onto her cheeks. It’s been a few days since their encounter in her bedroom and since then, Wanda’s free thoughts seem to wander back to that moment and she feels a warm fluttering feeling spread through her whenever she thinks about it.  ‘He will not?’

‘Of course not.’ Natasha says. ‘He’s really taken a liking to you. He enjoys your company.’

‘He does?’ A grin spreads across her face.

‘Yeah. It’s always nice to have another friend, isn’t it?’

Wanda nods in agreement.

‘You know, I’m really happy that you and Steve get along so well.’

‘I love having him around.’ Wanda only realizes she sounds overly excited after the words leave her mouth and her tone surprises both her and Natasha, who now has an amused look plastered on her face. ‘What?’ She shrugs, feigning innocence.

She can tell Natasha has something she wants to say, the words are hanging on her tongue but instead the older woman just shakes her head and smirks. ‘Nothing.’

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Natasha leaves early the next morning, so early that Wanda is half asleep when she says goodbye. By the time she wanders out to the kitchen a few hours later, wrapping her robe around her, Steve is sitting at the kitchen table.

‘Steve,’ She gasps.

‘Sleepyhead,’ He grins, tossing his newspaper aside. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.’

‘It was so quiet; I did not think anyone else was here.’ She runs a hand through her hair, attempting to smooth out the mess that was probably her hair. She hadn’t gotten the chance to brush her it yet this morning.

Steve stands and moves over to the counter. ‘I made coffee if you want some?’

‘Please,’ Wanda nods. ‘Just give me a moment to get washed up, I probably look a mess.’

A chuckle erupts Steve’s chest as he pours some of the liquid from the coffee pot into her mug.

‘What?’ Wanda frowns.

‘You don’t look like a mess.’ Steve says. ‘You look cute actually and like you’ve gotten a good night’s rest, which is a good thing.’ He turns to her. ‘Would you like milk and sugar?’

Her eyes nearly bulge out of her head when he calls her cute. Sure it’s probably an innocent phrase but that fact that Steve had said it…

‘Wanda?’

‘Oh...sorry, yes. Two sugars, thank you.’ She says.

Steve turns back around and finishes preparing her coffee before he slides the mug into her hands. ‘Careful, it’s hot.’

She thanks him again, following him to the table and taking a seat across from him.

‘So what are you doing today?’ Steve asks, watching Wanda quietly sip at her drink.

Wanda shrugs. ‘I have no plans.’

‘Oh good, so would you like to come see an art exhibit with me today? There’s one downtown about…’ He digs in his pocket and pulls out a folded flyer. His eyes flicker downwards as he scans across the page. ‘…post impressionism. I don’t know what that means but I’m sure you can fill me in, right?’ He smiles.

‘Sure,’ Wanda replies. ‘But, are you sure you want to go? We could do something _you_ would like-,’

He waves her off. ‘Are you kidding? I’m excited about this. It’ll be relaxing.’

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Steve can’t contain the smile on his face as they walk around the gallery. It makes him happy to see Wanda get so lost in the artwork. It’s not very often he gets to see her at completely at ease like this. Every time he asks a question, her eyes light up and her answer can go on for minutes but Steve doesn’t mind. Eventually she catches him smiling at her. They’re looking at this one piece on the wall when she turns and catches his eye. She blushes and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

‘What is it?’ She asks, sheepishly.

‘You.’

‘Me?’ Confusion is evident on her face.

He doesn’t even think before he replies. ‘Watching you be so genuinely happy about something—I wish you could see yourself, Wanda. It’s beautiful.’

‘It is?’

Steve nods.

‘Well...thank you.’ She smiles. ‘But I must be boring you with all this art talk, no?’

‘Of course not. I’m learning so much, more than I did in high school, that’s for sure. Though I gotta say my high school art teacher didn’t look like _you_...but if she did I probably would have aced that class.’ He jokes.

She bites her lip and looks away, shy. He doesn’t really know why he says these things to her—maybe because he likes her reactions. He likes it when she blushes or giggles and he absolutely loves it when she bites her lip or stumbles over her words. Steve likes that he has this effect on her.

…………………………...............................................................................................................

The day goes by faster than Wanda wants it to and before she knows it, the sun is setting and Steve is walking her to Natasha’s front door. ‘I hope you had fun today?’

‘I did.’ Wanda smiles softly. ‘Thank you, Steve…really.’

Steve grins. ‘Don’t mention it.’ He nods to the door. ‘Are you going to be okay…you know, by yourself?’

Wanda casts a weary glance over her shoulder. ‘Yes, I will probably just watch a movie and go to sleep.’ She shrugs.

‘You sure?’ He asks, lips pursed because he’s not entirely convinced by her answer.

‘I will be fine.’

He nods. ‘Well, call me if you need anything. I’ll stop by again soon.’

She wishes him goodnight and watches him drive off before she steps inside. As the door clicks behind her, the first thing she notices is the silence. The television almost always on throughout the day, filling the house with voices from the crime dramas Natasha likes to watch and make fun of. But now it’s just Wanda and everything is too quiet.

She wishes that she had asked Steve to stay, at least for a little while until she could hopefully fall to sleep. But she realizes that he’s spent the entire day with her and he probably wants time to himself now, or time to spend with his friends. In the end, she resigns herself to her bedroom and keeps the radio on. ‘It’s not so bad,’ she mumbles under her breath as she slips into bed later that night, pulling the blankets up to her chin as she stares into the dark.

..............................................................................

Her first night alone is okay. She tosses and turns—she doesn’t get to sleep until close to one in the morning but at least she gets to sleep. The next night doesn’t go nearly as well as the first. The loneliness is starting to get to her again, even the radio isn’t helping tonight. Natasha calls her just before bed but its quick and she knows her cousin is busy.

 ‘I’ll try to come home as soon as possible, it’s just that there’s a lot to be done here—,’

‘ _Natasha_ , please. I am not little girl. I can handle being alone.’ Wanda says, but when Steve shows up the next evening with a bag filled with movies and candy she definitely doesn’t object to his company.

‘I need a bit of a distraction tonight; I hope you don’t mind.’ He tells her when he pops the first movie in. He tries his best not to sound upset when he says it but Wanda can hear it in his voice. She doesn’t push, it’s not her place to push after all, and instead busies herself in the kitchen, microwaving popcorn and pouring it into a large bowl.

‘Of course not.’ She replies.

Most of the movies they watch are comedies. She finds them amusing enough, a lot of the American humour is lost on her—the obsession with dick jokes is something she’ll have to get used to—but Steve enjoys it. His laughter shakes his whole body and can’t help but laugh too.

At one point she genuinely laughs at a joke one of the women on screen makes and when she doesn’t hear Steve laughing as well she turns to look beside her. He’s asleep, snoring softly and she figures she didn’t hear him before due to all the calamity happening on screen.

‘Steve?’ She whispers, but he only shifts slightly and lets out a gentle moan. It’s then Wanda decides that she should just let him sleep. She manoeuvres herself off the couch, careful not to wake him. After snatching a blanket from Natasha’s room, she drapes it over him and flicks the television off.

‘Goodnight, Steven.’ She smiles before yawning and heading off to bed.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

The thing that alerts Steve that he’s not in his own bed is the stiffness in his neck as he sits up on the couch he recognizes to be Natasha’s. The living room is bathed in a pale blue that seeps through the blinds and tells him that it’s probably close to six or seven in the morning. He stands to stretch, popping joints and stretching stiff muscles before he makes his way down the hall to the bathroom.

He feels kind of bad about falling asleep on Wanda during the movie but decides after he finishes washing his hands in the sink that he’ll take her out for breakfast or something when she wakes up.

He intends to go to sit quietly in the living room but on his way he passes Wanda’s bedroom and the door swings open.

‘Morning,’ He greets. She was in the process of rubbing sleep from her eyes but when she hears Steve’s voice, she freezes. The young Sokovian woman stands staring at him and its then Steve takes notice of her appearance. She has bedhead, which if you asked Steve, was adorable. But as his eyes travelled downward he took notice of her current sleeping attire. The tank top she’s wearing is made of material so thin he can see her nipples straining against it. His eyes travel lower and he drinks in the sight of the creamy skin of her legs, a view afforded to him by the fact that nothing is covering her lower half but a pair of plain black underwear. Only when he feels his cock begin to stir against the fabric of his underwear does he avert his gaze to look past her.

‘Sorry, I didn’t know you would be…like this.’ Steve apologizes and gestures to her body. When he speaks it’s like she’s been doused in cold water. Her arms move to cover her chest and while he understands why she’s doing it; he can’t help but be a little disappointed.

‘I- um…it was hot last night and…’ A blush creeps up onto her cheeks. ‘This is really embarrassing.’

‘Well, this situation could be worse.’ He points out.

‘How?’

Steve smirks. ‘You could be naked.’

‘I suppose. And at least, you know…it was _you_ standing on the other side of this door and not somebody else.’ She mumbles the last part of her sentence but Steve catches it and his eyes flick to hers, a smile creeping onto both of their faces.

‘So, I was wondering if after you got dressed that we could go get breakfast or something?’ He clears his throat. ‘I’m hungry.’

‘Yes. Uh…just let me…’ She steps back and begins to close the door.

‘I’ll just wait in the living room.’ He says and stands there until Wanda shuts the door completely.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 On Friday, Steve asks her to paint for him. He and Sam pick her up at Natasha’s apartment and take her to Steve’s house. In his bedroom, she’s confronted with the big white wall that faces his bed. It’s the only wall in the room that doesn’t have anything on it. No pictures or posters. He has a closet on one side of his bed and a dresser on the other.

‘Think you can do something nice with it?’ Steve asks as he comes to stand behind her.

‘There are many possibilities, yes.’ Wanda says. She turns to him. ‘Did you have something in mind?’

‘I’m open to anything.’ He shrugs, letting out a heavy sigh. ‘You’re the artist.’ Steve adds with a smile.

‘Steve?’ Sam knocks on the doorframe before he enters the room. ‘We should get goin’.’

Steve checks the watch on his wrist. ‘Right. Give me a second?’

‘I’ll be in the car.’ He nods to him.

‘I gotta visit a friend today, but I’ll be back in a little bit, alright?’ Steve tells her.

‘I will be here.’ She chuckles. ‘Do you mind if I look around a little? I just want to get a feel for you so I can figure out what to paint.’

‘Yeah, of course.’

When he leaves, she pulls out her sketch pad and does a bit of looking around. Surprisingly, she doesn’t find much. Steve’s clearly not big on decoration, most of his furniture is grey or black and any sort of décor looks like something he picked up at a yard sale to cover the empty walls. He has some baseball memorabilia on his shelves but since he’s not a ten-year-old boy she’s sure he wouldn’t care much for a sports mural on his wall. This may be harder than she initially anticipated.

Stumped, she wanders out back, sits on one of the lawn chairs by his pool and begins to sketch some things out. They’re mostly random drawings that she probably won’t end up using but she feels like she needs to produce something.

Steve comes back a little over an hour later. She hears the back door open and she turns to smile at him. He returns the gesture and comes to sit in the chair beside hers.

‘Got any ideas?’ He asks, trying to peak over at her drawings. ‘What did you figure out about me?’

She sets the sketchbook aside and smiles. ‘Either you are a simple kind of man or a secretive one.’

He raises an eyebrow at her, an amused look on his face. ‘Is that good or bad?’

‘I think when it comes to you, it is good. I believe you are a good man, Steve Rogers.’

Steve smiles at her and a comfortable silence settles over them. After a moment, he glances at the pool and she follows his gaze. ‘You wanna swim?’

Wanda blushes and shakes her head. ‘I did not bring a bathing suit.’

He laughs. ‘You don’t need one.’ He stands and begins stripping off his clothes. Off comes the t-shirt he’s wearing, exposing his broad and well defined chest. Wanda swallows hard because for as many times as she’s _thought_ about what Steve’s chest looks like under his shirt—to actually see it is a completely different experience. Next he’s undoing the button of his jeans, slipping them down muscular thighs and removing his shoes and socks in the process, leaving him in nothing but a pair of tight fitting navy boxer briefs. Wanda does her best not to stare but the outline of his cock is clearly visible beneath the material and she can feel a blush creep up her neck. ‘Look, we’re even now, right?’ He laughs. ‘Your turn.’

‘You want me to…?’

‘It’s nothing I haven’t seen before right?’ He smirks. ‘Come on, Wanda.’

Slowly, she stands in front of him and takes a deep breath as she slips her shirt over her head and tosses it so it joins Steve’s. She bites her lip because she can feel his eyes on her as she steps out of her pants and removes her shoes and socks.

She follows him to the water and watches as he jumps in, splashing water anywhere. Cool droplets hit her skin and she shivers a little. When he remerges from beneath the water, he smiles at her. ‘Are you going to stand there?’

‘The water is cold, Steve.’ she argues, playfully.

‘Sometimes you gotta just dive right in.’ He chuckles as he hoists himself up onto the ledge of the pool. ‘Or maybe you just need a bit of a push?’

‘You are not seriously going to push me into the pool are you?’ She takes a step back from him.

‘Of course not.’ He grins stepping towards her. In one swift move he’s got her in his arms bridal style.

‘Steve!’ She yelps.

‘This isn’t pushing, is it?’

She would like to say smart remark back to him but she can’t help but relish in the feeling of being in his arms like this. His muscles involuntarily flex around her. Steve’s so strong that he’s holding her like she weighs nothing.

‘Would you like me to put you down?’ He asks.

‘Yes-,’ She says but realizes her mistake only when he drops her into the pool. The water is cold, yes, but now that she was completely submerged she had easily gotten used to it. She pops her head out of the water and laughs as he jumps in after her.

‘Not so bad right?’

She smirks and leans back against the pool wall.

‘It is not so bad.’ She admits.

He swims over, trapping her between the pool wall and himself. Wanda feels her heart start to hammer in her chest. She doesn’t think he realizes just how close he’s gotten, at this distance she can feel his breath tickling her lips.

‘So I was right.’ He says. Her eyes flicker to his lips for a moment before settling on his eyes once more.

‘Right about what?’ She whispers.

‘You just needed a push.’ He smirks.

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of smut and such to come, just hang in there, lol. 
> 
> Also forgive me, I'm still trying to figure out how to write Wanda's accent.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry that it's been forever and a day. I've been away mostly for personal reasons that I will not discuss here, and because of the horrible affliction known as writer's block. I apologize. 
> 
> Also I know everyone is waiting to see the reason this fic is labelled as explicit. Next chapter, which is half written, will be up in a little bit, and that's when things will finally heat up between Steve and Wanda, I promise.

Wanda hasn’t seen Steve in two weeks.

When the first week passes, she understands…or at least she tries to. He’s grown man who's got things to do. He can’t spend all his time with her, as much as Wanda would like for that to be a reality. She knows that it's unhealthy that she’s mentally turned him into some sort of security blanket for her but she can’t help it. Since Pietro… _died_ … she feels like she’s been walking around like some sort of exposed nerve; and then Steve comes along and whether he knows it or not, has become a source of comfort for Wanda. But, she understands. He never signed on for that, and she’s sure he doesn’t realize what sort of role he’s playing in her new American life.

And then the second week rolls around and she’s now sure that whatever’s happening is deliberate. At first, she worries that she did something, and she starts mentally analyzing every conversation she and Steve had when they were last together. But she can’t think of anything. She decides that she should casually bring this up to Natasha and hopefully, her cousin will have some answers. But Natasha’s been working non-stop on this new case so Wanda must wait until the end of the week to be able to get a moment to speak to her cousin.

‘Hey, you,’ Natasha smiles at her when she enters the kitchen that morning. Wanda can see the exhaustion on her cousin’s face. She tells Natasha to take a seat while she prepares coffee to go with the breakfast she’s made the two of them. Wanda’s been taking a more active role around Natasha’s place as of late. Wanda figures since she doesn’t have a job to go to, and Natasha is so gracious as to let her stay in her place for _free_ , that she should be contributing in some way. It also helps to keep her mind off the Steve situation.

‘Oh wow,’ Natasha says as Wanda sets the plate of food and the mug of coffee in front of her. ‘…reminds me of when we used to visit our _babushka_ when we were kids,’

‘I brought her recipe book with me,’ Wanda replies, sheepishly. She waits for a few moments, to allow Natasha some time to eat before she decides to ask her anything. ‘How is work going?’

Natasha shakes her head. ‘Well, it seems like every time we think we’re getting somewhere, something new pops up and we’re knocked right back to square one again. I’ve pretty much spent the last few weeks running in circles.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve noticed how unrested you look lately,’ Wanda says.

Natasha chuckles. ‘I feel worse than I look if you can believe that.’

Wanda smiles gently, and taking a deep breath, she asks: ‘Have you heard from Steven?’  

Natasha pauses and places her fork beside her plate. ‘Yeah, I was speaking to him a few days ago,’

The tone of Natasha’s voice causes a sinking in Wanda’s stomach, but she pushes on. ‘That’s good. How did he sound?’

‘Um, well we didn’t talk for very long. It was more of a check in, you know? I was in the middle of my lunch and when I called him he seemed preoccupied…he said he was fine, and that he would talk to me later.’ Natasha frowned.

‘Oh,’ Wanda blinks. ‘He didn’t—,’ She swallows hard to physically stop herself from asking if Steve had asked about her.

‘Is everything okay?’ Natasha asked.

Wanda shook her head. ‘Yes! Yes, I’m fine. I was just concerned for him, you know? I haven’t seen him around in a while.’

‘I’m sure he’s just figuring things out,’ Her cousin says. ‘I’ll call him again later today.’

Wanda sighs. ‘So, you do not think it could be something I did?’

Natasha shook her head. ‘What? No! Why would you think that?’

‘Nothing. No reason. Sorry, I was just concerned. But if you think everything is going to be okay, then I trust you.’ Wanda did her best to give her cousin a convincing smile, but she could see the concern on Natasha’s face. ‘You should eat before it gets cold.’ She nods toward Natasha’s plate. She leans back in the chair and sips her coffee, leaving her own food untouched.

 

A few days later, Natasha gets called away again. Wanda still hasn’t seen Steve and now the possibility of being alone for however long Natasha is supposed to be away has her stomach in knots.

‘Wanda, I’m so sorry,’ Natasha apologizes as she sits at the end of Wanda’s bed. ‘I begged my boss not to send me but he didn’t go for it—,’

‘It is okay.’ Wanda says. ‘This is your job, Natasha. You’re not supposed to babysit me.’

‘I know, it’s just that I worry. And I know it’s only for a few days but I don’t want to leave you, I hardly ever see you as it is. I mean, how is this any different than you living in that house in Sokovia—,’

Wanda scoots down the bed and puts an arm around her cousin’s shoulder. ‘Natasha, this is nothing like Sokovia. Trust me. And I am so thankful that I am here.’

Natasha sighs, nodding her head. ‘Okay, but when I get back, I’m telling my boss that I want to be on desk duty for the next few months.’

‘Natasha,’

‘No really, I mean, I’m running myself ragged and I barely sleep. I need to take it easy for a little bit.’ Natasha says.

Wanda walks Natasha out to her cab later that night. She watches her cousin pull away and disappear down the street. She stands there for a few moments, until she can no longer see the taillights of the car, and then turns to stare up at the window of her bedroom. She can see a pale blue light reflecting against the glass, and knows that it’s just the television playing some sort of late night sitcom rerun. That’s what’s waiting for her when she goes back up to Natasha’s apartment. She takes a step toward the building but stops herself from taking another. She instead looks down the street towards the bus stop. In the distance, she can see the next bus approaching, it’s only a few stops away, and Wanda decides to make a decision. She’s got some change in her jeans pocket, surely enough to pay for a transit trip, and she’s pretty sure she remembers the route to Steve’s place. She doesn’t want to go back to her bedroom and pretend that she can’t feel Pietro watching her. She wants to make sure Steve’s okay. She wants to see him smile and hear his laugh and wants to hug him. And besides, now the bus is only one stop away.

So she runs for it.

For a second, Wanda doesn’t think he’s home. She walks up to the front door and all the lights are off, but his car is in the driveway. It’s not that late, just past eight- thirty, but the possibility that he is asleep isn’t out of the question. And Wanda thinks for a moment that she should turn around and head home. But something tells her to knock, so she does. It’s gentle at first, so gentle that there’s no way anyone that’s not directly beside the front door would hear it. So she knocks again.

After a moment, she hears nothing and no movement inside. Her eyes land on the doorknob. Curiosity gets the best of her and she reaches out to twist it, finding that the door is not even locked.

‘Steven?’ She calls out into the darkness. Wanda walks inside and shuts the door behind her. Not really caring now that she might be considered a trespasser on the off chance that the local authorities showed up. ‘Steve?’

Down the hall, she hears footsteps making their way toward her. Light flicks on and there is Steve. Wanda can’t help the small smile that appears on her face when she sees him because she’s finally seeing him after what feels like an eternity, but she can’t help but notice the change in his appearance. His hair was unkempt, and his facial hair was approaching beard status and then there were those dark circles under his eyes...

‘Wanda?’ He’s squinting at her, eyes trying to adjust to the light.

‘Steve,’ She swallows. ‘I-I am sorry…did I wake you?’

‘No,’ He shakes his head. ‘No…you didn’t wake me.’

‘Your door wasn’t locked,’ She points behind her.

‘Yeah, nobody locks their doors in this neighbourhood.’ He walks toward her and peeks out the small window beside the door. ‘How’d you get here?’

‘The Bus,’ Wanda replies.

‘The bus?’ Steve repeats. His hand reaches out to rest on her shoulder. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yes,’ She nods. Her mouth was suddenly dry.

‘Where’s Nat?’

‘She was called away for work again,’

‘Oh,’ He frowned. ‘Damn…I’m sorry Wanda, I didn’t know you were alone.’

‘It’s okay, she left only an hour ago. I’m just here because…’ She sighs. ‘Because I wanted to see if you were alright,’

He lowers his gaze and looks away.

‘Are you…alright?’ She asks.

He looks back at her frowning.

For a solid half minute, he just looks at her not saying anything. Looking as deep as she was into those blue eyes, she can see frustrated tears starting to form.

‘No,’ He chokes out, looking humiliated over having admitted it.

‘It’s okay,’ Wanda says, stepping closer. She wraps her arms around him and pulls him close. In his next breath, she feels his arms slide around her. ‘Neither am I.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are a real treat/ motivator. If you could leave one that would be fantastic, if not, there's no harm done. I still love you all to bits for giving this fic a chance. And I apologize for any glaring mistakes. I will fix them asap.

**Author's Note:**

> Not my first fanfic but it's the first time I'm writing for this universe, so I apologize if it's not on par with some of the other awesome works in the fandom. :) 
> 
> Leave some feedback if you can, if not, thanks for reading!


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